The Colbert Report ran a The Word segment featuring absinthe. Colbert discussed its resurgence in America and on college campuses. He jokingly suggested that college students avoid absinthe and take a absinth-tinence pledge. It is as follows:

I, state your name, do hereby pledge to practice absinth-tinence by remaining absinth-tinent from Absinthe. Since Absinthe incidents in many instances induce incipient synthetic inspiration and sinister synthetic insistence on sin, I sincerely insist I will be absent from instances of Absinthe ingestion, this instant.

Say that 10 times fast!